• Emil Sands has a form of cerebral palsy called hemiplegia, which affects one side of the body.
• As a child, Emil had a noticeable limp and needed help in class. He had a personal classroom assistant, Yulia, who massaged his foot each morning to relax his muscles.
• At age 12, Emil was called a “disabled cunt” by his lifelong best friend.
• Emil had an operation on his Achilles tendon to mitigate his limp.
• In secondary school, Emil had to do a twice-daily therapy program of swimming, stretching, and working with weights.
• In the changing room, Emil longed for a different body, as puberty had made him fat and his “Bad Side” remained a perpetual disappointment.
• He was envious of the other swimmers’ bodies and felt like he could never measure up.
• He stopped swimming and developed psychosomatic symptoms, which he believes were connected to the pool.
• He swapped his swims for more time in the gym and more stretching.
• He also began to spend his lunchtimes in the art studios, where he created a portfolio and was inspired by his art teacher.
• He now goes to the gym every day, but is wary of people noticing his disability.
• He is still grappling with the ways he has been made to feel that his body does not belong.
Published February 11, 2023
Visit The Atlantic to read Emil Sands’s original post Society Tells Me to Celebrate My Disability. What If I Don’t Want To?
